you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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