Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
