Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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