I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
