Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
