That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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