he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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