we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
