That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
