you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
