i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
