i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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