Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
