Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize