dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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