Don't you send me to vm
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
