Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Barsexuality is the new black.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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