Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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