It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
this beer tastes like vomit already
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
