I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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