Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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