I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
