He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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