Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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