Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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