Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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