i don't like sucking hair
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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