You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
