Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
