I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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