Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
