we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize