i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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