barbara walters just said penis...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you would pick up someone in the library
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Randomize
