i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize