I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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