just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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