I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
