so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
