She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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