Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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