Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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