i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
