Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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