Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
