And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
