I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
