Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.