so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
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You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
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Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU