Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  I molested 6 butterflies tonight

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  (210): I molested 6 butterflies tonight http://tfl.nu/fk5z
  Replies (14) Good night (1451) Bad night (683)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived

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  (207): Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived http://tfl.nu/2pbp
  Replies (18) Good night (790) Bad night (7306)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?

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  (815): He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing? http://tfl.nu/c8yk
  Replies (36) Good night (6153) Bad night (1368)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it

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  (914): Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it http://tfl.nu/0jmm
  Replies (27) Good night (2238) Bad night (4848)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"

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  (817): He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick" http://tfl.nu/f333
  Replies (18) Good night (3865) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."

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  (816): Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid." http://tfl.nu/chp6
  Replies (7) Good night (2487) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.

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  (734): We found a swing set....it's in the front yard. http://tfl.nu/rzxv
  Replies (7) Good night (2280) Bad night (682)
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  (315): View more from New York

  What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Its 11 o'clock somewhere

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  (315): What's the rule on cocaine before dinner? (414): Its 11 o'clock somewhere http://tfl.nu/yof7
  Replies (7) Good night (2563) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake

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  (315): i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake http://tfl.nu/sp6n
  Replies (9) Good night (2763) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.

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  (619): I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes. http://tfl.nu/rji6
  Replies (9) Good night (1411) Bad night (776)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum

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  (781): My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum http://tfl.nu/wc4p
  Replies (5) Good night (537) Bad night (1524)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me

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  (630): Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me http://tfl.nu/sh43
  Replies (7) Good night (943) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  It's a drunk scavenger hunt.

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.

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  (514): It's a drunk scavenger hunt. (514): Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked. http://tfl.nu/mf96
  Replies (2) Good night (982) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.

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  (+44): Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process. http://tfl.nu/j8pd
  Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."

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  (570): I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas." http://tfl.nu/unt9
  Replies (5) Good night (951) Bad night (410)

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