I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
