I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
