my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
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You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
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Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week