oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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