you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
