I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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