I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
