she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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