If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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