WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
