He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
