ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He did a backflip because drugs
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