some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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