That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
